Earth vs. HD 904790 b

“Astronomers Discover New Planet That Really Makes Earth Look Like Dung”

Source: The Onion

http://www.theonion.com/articles/astronomers-discover-new-planet-that-really-makes,37986/

NASA announced that it had discovered a new planet, named HD 904790 b, that has all of Earth’s resources, but the planet is much better compared to Earth due to its larger size, clean surface, verdant landforms, and abundance of natural resources. This new planet has a complex system of rings orbiting it, zero tectonic plate activity, fresher water, and an atmosphere free of methane and other toxic gases. HD 904790 b rotates on a perfect axis, which keeps the surface temperature at seventy-five degree Fahrenheit and allows for a constant five mile per hour breeze. NASA concluded that this new planet has more than Earth has to offer. NASA astronomers calculated that it would about 300,000 years to reach the new planet, but the journey is worth a chance.

            This article uses the satirical technique of exaggeration to ridicule the Earth. The article continues to ridicule the Earth claiming that it is worthless planet without any special qualities. The Earth is compared to an ideal planet, which is obviously better. However, this does not mean the Earth is a baron piece of rock with nothing special about it. In addition, NASA astronomers continue referring to Earth as “that.” This signifies that they believe the Earth is a useless planet people were forced to live on. The article uses strong language to put down the Earth claiming that people should consider living on the new planet or any other planet besides the one we are currently living on. The Earth is compared to a “piece of garbage” or it is considered “worthless” because it does not possess the same qualities as a planet many light years away.